Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize