i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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