You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
