i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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