Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
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I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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