god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
