I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
