Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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