who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
