just come out here and I will go home with you...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
