I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Success! We fucked roommates!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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