He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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