Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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