I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize