Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
