haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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