apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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