Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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