I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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