I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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