Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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