dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
