3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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