ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
