Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
