that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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