guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
