I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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