Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
