and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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