Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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