I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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