You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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