How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
