i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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