So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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