I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize