I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
