loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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