Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
