Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
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So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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