we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
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i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale