Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
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btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
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Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.