Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
