he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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