Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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