So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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