hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize