you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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