Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
