i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
