I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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