But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
