it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
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I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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