You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
