PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
