You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
