Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
