Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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