And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
