The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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