There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
