your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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