She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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