i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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